


Tell me if I'm back on my own

by nnbrooklyn



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Actors, Angsty Schmoop, Cute, Endearments, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Making Up, Schmoop, fights and arguments, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 02:23:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9153349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nnbrooklyn/pseuds/nnbrooklyn
Summary: When little things turn into a big deal, there comes a time when they need to be put back in their place.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: It never happened. Cause you know, it's fiction.

"It's cold as fuck in here." Jensen enters the bedroom and growls at the temperature the thermometer is showing.

"I opened up the windows a while back to let the air in," he hears Jared’s explanation from the bathroom.

"But it's freezing now." He knows he’s whining a bit but he hates the cold and deeply appreciates a warm, cozy bedroom. He quickly sheds his clothes and hops into bed. Which is obviously super chilly after the ventilation Jared provided to their room. He feels beginnings of annoyance filling him up and tries to burrow himself deeper in the sheets, his body shaking.

He sees Jared emerging from the bathroom, switching off the lights on his way. The mattress dips as Jared climbs into bed. Jensen hears him sighing and a moment later he feels his hand cautiously touching his arm.

“You know, if you’d come a little closer you wouldn’t be so cold.”

Jensen knows that but isn’t sure if cuddling is something they are still doing. The thought makes him realize how weird and ridiculous their situation has been for a while now. He untangles himself from the sheets and turns around to face Jared who is looking at him with hopeful expression. Without letting himself getting deeper into analyzing it, he quickly scoots closer and lays his head on Jared’s shoulder, his hand drawing patterns on his boyfriend’s chest. He feels Jared pulling the covers up and carefully tucking him in. A moment later there is a hand in his hair slowly caressing him.

Minutes are passing by and neither of them say anything, the silence clearly filled with tension. None of them is sleeping but Jensen is enjoying the closeness too much anyway to just fall asleep.

In the end it’s Jared who breaks the silence. 

“I don’t remember the last time we were doing this.” The truth of his words hits Jensen hard and he feels himself snuggling ever closer to Jared. The guilt and regret are quickly filling his stomach.

“Yeah.” He doesn’t know what else to say, how to make it all better. But at the same time he is so tired of this tension and the fact that he can’t even pinpoint the moment when something changed between them and why.

“Babe, look at me.” Jared shakes him gently. He lifts his head and meets his eyes. “What are we doing, hmm? What are we even fighting about?” he asks with self-deprecating laugh. “Cause half the time I don’t even know.”

And isn’t that the bottom of it all, Jensen thinks to himself. Their latest weeks were full of complaints, snapping at each other, not letting go of the smallest mistakes and misunderstandings. Long hours on set, stress, relentlessness, lack of understanding and ability to compromise led them to small and bigger fights and the worse of it all, silent treatments. And that was something that was just… so not them. The great communication between them used to be something that made them so good together, so when it changed, things started to crumble. Suddenly they haven’t been sharing every little thing about their days with each other, any affection once so present in their relationship limited to few and far between.

And it’s like they both hate it and want to fix it, but neither knows how. But it has to end, Jensen decides. Tonight.

“I’m so sick of this. I’m done,” Jensen says firmly, looking Jared in the eyes. He sees his face falling and feels his body going rigid. Realizing ambiguity of his words he hurries with clarification. “No, no, Jesus, that’s not what I meant,” he presses their foreheads together to reassure him.

“Well, don’t say shit like that,” Jared’s voice wavers as he lets out nervous laugh. Jensen strokes his cheek and smiles a little. “No, not ever, you know that”. He feels strong urge to kiss him, to convey everything that he feels for him, to try to erase at least a little hurt that cumulated over the weeks. Before he can do anything Jared surges forward and meets his lips, kissing him with passion and a little desperation behind it. Jensen slows down their kiss and pushes his hand into his boyfriend’s long hair. The kiss feels extremely right after all the brief ones that held more habit than affection in it.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen says after they finally pull away. Jared starts shaking his head but Jensen doesn’t let him interrupt. “No, hey, I need to say it. All that has been happening is mostly my fault and I know it. Sometimes I’m just- too stubborn to let things go, and I’m picking fights over stupid things-”

“It’s not like I am not to blame, Jensen-”

“We both fucked up, I know. It’s just- I know that I can be a bitch sometimes, that I complain about stuff a lot-”

“Whine,” Jared interjects with a smirk. Jensen pulls on a few of his chest hair, letting his own smile to appear. “Ow!”

“You deserved it,” Jensen says smugly, but strokes his chest apologetically anyway. Then he tries to continue but Jared interrupts him one more time.

“Don’t put the blame only on yourself, Jensen, it’s not fair. You’re always trying to take it all on yourself and I think it gets us nowhere. The fact that we got here- something is not working and we need to figure out what is it. Both of us. You can’t just sweep it under the carpet by saying it’s your fault-”

“I’m not trying to sweep it under the carpet-” Jensen denies, his voice betraying the anger that starts to well up.

“Hey, I don’t mean it in a bad way,” Jared squeezes his arm, “I know that you just want us to be okay. I’m just saying that maybe it’s time we have a conversation about it. Decide what we should change instead of pretending that everything is fine just the way it is,” he finishes gently.

Jensen deflates and realizes that his reaction was again the exact same thing he was doing wrong lately. He has been acting like a prissy princess, letting the smallest things get to him. “You’re right”.

“So maybe,” Jared starts, “How about you tell me something that bothers you, hmm?” he proposes, sitting back against the headboard and looking at him with encouraging look. Jensen props himself on his elbow and confesses.

“I think- I think we should maybe spend more time together. Just the two of us. I mean, I know it sounds ridiculous, with us working and living together but,” he sighs, shaking his head “lately I feel like there’s always someone around.” Jared hums and waits for him to continue. Jensen sits next to him pulling the sheets along.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love our friends and spending time with them. But we don’t do anything alone anymore, just us, you know? Every time we have days off we try to catch up with our friends and family but- we never think to simply catch up with each other. It’s like we take us for granted, like we think that hey, we’re gonna be okay anyway. And that’s just not enough anymore.” He pauses and drops his head. “And instead of using that little time together I- I fight with you because I’m frustrated that we don’t have more of that time and it’s like a vicious circle. It’s so stupid.” Jensen looks at him hoping that Jared will get what he’s trying to say. “I miss you.”

Jared smiles at him with a flicker of sadness in his eyes and reaches for Jensen’s hand, tangling their fingers together.

“I miss you too,” he admits quietly, looking at their hands. He frowns as something comes to his mind. “I’ve just realized that we haven’t been on a date since forever.”

It’s been eight weeks. Jensen remembers. It’s hard not to, when they used to do it much more often.

“Everything you’ve just said, it bothers me too, you know? But I think the worst thing is that we stopped talking to each other. For real. If we would have, we wouldn’t have a problem now. We just- let it grow and make us angry at each other.”

Jensen scoots down and lays his head on Jared’s shoulder squeezing their joined hands.

“That’s the main thing that needs to change, Jensen. We need to start telling each other things that are wrong. Okay?” Jensen nods and lifts his head for a kiss. Jared smiles and gives him a peck on the lips.

“Hey,” Jensen starts with a frown, putting a hand on his stubbled cheek and taking deep breath. “I’m still sorry. For snapping at you and treating you so bad those past weeks, Jare. I feel like shit for that, I need you to know that.” He remembers all too well all those moments when he was tired or had some other poor excuse for mistreating him. He knows he was the one provoking most of their arguments. “I won’t unload my frustration on you anymore, I promise,” he adds firmly.

Jared’s face softens at the clear guilt he could hear in his voice. “It’s okay. We’re okay”- he turns his face and kisses his palm - “And I’m sorry too.”

He leans forward to catch his lips, nipping them lightly, moving slowly to his jaw where he presses another few kisses, smiling when he feels the shudder going through Jensen that this time has nothing to do with low temperature. He nuzzles his neck and feels a hand grabbing at his hair and pulling him back as Jensen starts to fiercely kissing his lips, his tongue probing at the seam to get inside. He swiftly moves to sit on his lap and cradles his face in both hands while Jared is stroking his own across his back. He hears him catch his breath when his hands move down to cup his ass.

Jensen pulls back a little just to kiss the mole under his eye and press their foreheads together. “I love you.”

They rarely say those words, both believing in expressing their affection in actions. But this time Jensen needs to make sure that Jared knows how he feels. Considering his behavior, he’s not entirely convinced that’s the case.

But Jared only beams at him and says with clear confidence in his voice, “I know.”


End file.
